Well, color me stunned.
I've gotten a surprising number of responses to The Post. I figured I'd get a few comments or emails. Nothing that long could go without notice, especially with all the colorful language I used.
I am completely blown away by the support and love I've received across the board. Friends and family who I didn't even know read the blog have reached out to me. Perfect strangers have stumbled across this little speck on the interwebs and have offered up support and online resources.
For one of the only times in my life, I am speechless. Go ahead, ask my friends. I've always got something to say. I'll wait.
[insert crickets chirping]
Yay, you're back!
One thing that's left me completely gobsmacked are the adjectives being thrown my way. Words like "brave" and "courageous" and "strong". That confuses me because I'm none of those things in real life. If I had to describe myself I'd use words like "annoying" and "loud" and "opinionated to a fault".
I chose to share because writing--if you hadn't already guessed--is therapeutic for me. I've always been a writer and I've always found it easier to put my thoughts into words on a page or in a blog. It helps organize the mess of thoughts in my mind, and sometimes I'm able to go back and make sense of everything going on in my life. It's my "Aha!" moment. Thank you, Oprah.
Once I shared the post with a few people (read: two), I started to feel a little more confident in sharing this with others. Both readers (Graham was one of them) said the same thing, "It's raw, but...." I had some concerns about how raw it was going to be. I mean, I'm using language I wouldn't use in front of my grandma AND I'm openly discussing mental illness. Not exactly "tea and crumpets" conversation. But both said that they felt like other people could benefit from this. That it was a story that someone else would read and say, "Me, too," or "Me, three." I thought they were skeptical, but I chose to publish it because I had the support of a few, and I thought that was better than sitting on it and sharing it with my cat. I wouldn't call myself "brave" for posting and sharing. Crazy, yes. User of poor judgement? Absolutely.
Ultimately, I hope that there's at least one person in my life who can read this and get something from it. Whether it's a realization that they might need to seek help too, or whatever they take away, I hope that at least one person walks away feeling better.
I love blogging, and I love sharing our life with all of you, whoever happens to stumble upon our blog. I'm humbled by the outpouring of support I've received, and I am so thankful for all the offers to listen and talk. I'll probably take you up on that sometime soon. But really, now that I've started sharing, if YOU need to talk, I'm here to listen.